June Ramblings

A bit exhausted, my mind is rambling over the past several weeks: my mom's mild stroke with hospital and rehab stays, then home for 24 hour care; my dad's emotional and physical need for her while home alone, thus causing his own hospital and rehab stay. I am wondering why it takes so long for children to fully appreciate and understand their parents. As a younger and "wiser" thirty-something, I could appreciate their support and visits --but laugh at their idiosyncrasies with a shake of my head. This past year has held more visits, more care-giving, and more insight into who they really were and are. My mom is delighted that I would take an interest in her younger years--and I? I am so surprised at who she really was: adventurously joining the Navy, perfectionistic in her way of washing, canning, choosing clothes, crocheting, and working so hard to "remember to do it right". Our Talons Out Flight to Washington in April truly opened my eyes to "see" from my mother's perspective and feel - oh so proud of them. Now, as my siblings and I (minus two) proceed to determine end of life care for my dad -- I am sad and nostalgic for all they have gone through in their 92 years, and in their almost 69 years of marriage together. How do we choose a care facility? How do we separate them, knowing my dad will quickly decline? What should he take? Are meds truly necessary for him now when he is not interested in living this way? What is best for each of them? Is God loving him as Zephaniah 3:17 says-- taking great delight in him, quieting him with his love, rejoicing over him with singing? If that is true, why am I so sad? It is the journey of life, to love and engage with people -- and then to watch the kids and grandkids take your place, as you prepare to be with Jesus. Help us to walk well with him in these last months.