Good Night. I Love You by Jene Ray Barranco

This was a book written over a span of five years, the grieving process that the author walked through after the unexpected death of her husband.  Heart-wrenching, raw, triumphant.  She shares the lowest lows of the "Midnight Hour", but continues to take the next steps to healing and wholeness.

Although very difficult to read at times, I found myself cheering her on in the last few chapters where she again had hope to actually look forward to the future (Psalm 42:11:  Hope in God for once again I will praise Him).  So much of the pain and numbness were familiar to me from my "Midnight Hour", grieving the loss of my sisters after their deaths.  I remember the heaviness on my chest, the deadness in my eyes, and the absence of hearing God's voice over that two year period as I tried to "climb back to the surface".  It obviously wasn't near what Barranco faced in losing a spouse and having to be the sole parent to 3 teenagers, but I certainly identified with the process.

This would be a great resource to give to those grieving, as it totally turns hearts to God, but also affirms that the roller coaster emotions and things that have to be faced--are all very normal.

Musings on a Beautiful Autumn Day

I found myself sitting on a bench at Lake Macatawa awaiting the sunrise a few weekends ago.  Bill and I had traveled to Holland State Park to join friends in an "end of the camping season" gathering. 
Having enjoyed biking, hiking and hanging out on an absolutely gorgeous Saturday...I was determined to catch a sunrise the next morning.

Several others sat in the vicinity, but surprisingly a couple vacated the beach bench in front of me --so, I grabbed it!  Quiet, dimly lit, the hush of expectancy as the colors unfolded before us in the eastern sky.  What appeared to be an Egret or Heron, swooped over the water, landing to my left in a wooded area in shallow water.  She positioned herself facing the east.  At about the same time, a duck  landed in front of me, just settling in the water -- seemingly to also face the unfolding of the morning!

I was struck with the words of Jesus, "If these people keep silent,  the rocks / stones will cry out (Luke 19:40).  But what was happening in front of me was not just the stones responding to the Creator's handiwork --but very Creation (the birds of the field) was relishing the rising of the Sun, which the Creator had provided for His Created to enjoy.  How touched was I to be among His creation enjoying that moment.  How often am I not mindful of all the beauty that has been given to us to enjoy?  Am I keeping silent, or am I crying out in praise to the Maker?

Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult

I have to be in the right frame of mind to read Picoult because she throws curves that disturb me.  This one kept my interest due to its subject matter of "hearing God".

Mariah, the mom, is swirling in an emotional battle due to her husband's infidelity when her 7 year old daughter begins quoting Bible verses and explaining to her mom what "God" said to her.  Faith had rarely been in synagogue (her Jewish heritage), let alone in a Christian church; so this is puzzling to her mom and grandmom.  As the story unfolds, other strange phenomenon occurs:  healings by Faith, bleeding hands, Hebrew words spoken.  When the media become aware of this, the circus begins....destination: Mariah's country home where hundreds of news agencies gather to follow the story, as well as hundreds of sick and infirm settle, to beg for healing.

This was a fast moving story that captures all of the craziness of our world:  the naysayers, the believers, the cynics and the merely curious.  It begs for the answers to "Who is God in our world?" and "How does He work?".  I loved that the clergy, priests and rabbis were all portrayed on many different parts of the spectrum, as far as their beliefs about how God could possibly work in a little girl.  Of course, in true Picoult fashion, she throws her curve at the end, but it was a good read despite that....and caused me to affirm my position that God is bigger than all of our ideas and explanations, and He can do amazing things in any way that He chooses.

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

Absolutely loved this book.  Challenging and inspirational, this pastor tells the story of how God started and grew National Community Church in Washington DC ~~ through "prayer circles".  We can call it by lots of names, but his visual of walking the blocks of Capitol Hill, praying for God to open doors for a building (s) will stay with me.

Historically, the actual Circle Maker was Honi, a Jewish man who lived outside the city walls of Jerusalem in the generation before Jesus.  He outrageously and boldly called on God to provide rain to the drought ridden area which had seen no rain for a year.  Honi drew a circle in the dirt around himself, and said "Lord of the universe, I swear before your great name that I will not move from this circle until you have shown mercy upon your children"  (from the writings of Josephus, the historian).  Much like Elijah, Honi waited for the rain....and eventually the sprinkles became a downpour, which changed history for those people.  So Batterson begins this book.

Encouraged to lay out my "prayer circles" in this season, I have begun to visually pray for people and situations, drawing a circle with my hand to capture the spirit of this challenge.  I have physically circled my neighborhood and prayed, asking God to turn hearts toward Him.  This concept resonates with me, because it causes me to Pray Big, to Pray Hard and to Think Long.

At times I have wondered how God would call to my heart at 16, when there had not been much spiritual input in my formative years -- yet this book affirmed the conclusion that I had drawn, someone in my family in previous generations had prayed long and hard for fruit in the generations to come.  And that's my charge--to continually pray for my kids, my grandkids and great-grandkids; that God would raise them up to follow Him, that they would make a difference in this crazy, confused world  (Isaiah 59:21).

American Born Chinese by Gene Luch Yang

Very interesting!  Recommended to our Book Club by the Director of the Library, as a new genre....a graphic novel.  This was a new term to me!  But, it was a fun way to see how educators are encouraging young readers to get "into" books.  For those who may struggle with reading disabilities, this type of "comic"story is quicker, less wordy --but still gets across some great truths.

Intended for a middle school audience, I walked away with a great respect for this author's creativity and imagination.  He speaks to the hearts of insecure young people, addresses bullying and racial intolerance,  expresses the desires of kids who want to belong,  explores friendship...and then, brings it all back to accepting who you are meant to be.  You definitely have to pay close attention, then re-browse the pictures, to get all of the wisdom of what the author is relaying.  Exceeded my expectations.

The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith

A recommendation from a friend, this mystery crime story kept me reading and delivered a surprise ending; but overall it didn't pique my interest enough to claim as a favorite future genre.  This was supposedly a "first" crime novel by this author, but in reality it was written by J.K. Rawling, of Harry Potter fame.
As is my usual criticism:  too much raunchy language for my comfort zone.  There was enough psychological background on the main character, Private Detective Cormoran Strike, to feed my need for deeper character understanding...but still can't give it a great recommendation.

July 2017 Happenings

Lots of crazy activity in Michigan this year!  The Hendren crew arrived late on the 10^th and we didn’t stop until August 2^nd when Ben & Jenny departed with their kiddos.  In between, the Tegelaars dropped in, left the kids for 6 days & headed to CO!  Lake Michigan was the place to be this summer!  We visited Holland, South Haven and Saugatuck; as well as a day at Yankee Springs and pool days at Tillers and Meyers!!  Lots of water, sand and sun.  As usual, it was so great to watch Boppa at play in the water--reminded me of when our kids were young!

Thankful for the Otsego Public Library—which kept the littles entertained with their play area, weekly movies and special events.  Azi joined in with the “tweens” at some of their meetings too.  Mostly the memories involved hanging out while the kids played in the front yard:  shooting hoops (Jet w/ Keith; Abbott dribbling quite well on his own), utilizing the garage sale kitchen (outstanding buy), driving the Barbie car (Evy, Maelie, & Trux's fav plus Walk learned to drive too!), and riding bikes & scooters.  Ben & Keith checked off a few projects on Bill’s list and Plainwell Ice Cream got extra business!  Elliott got lots of love from all the cousins!

Girls Outing to Kindleberger Park to watch “Once Upon a Mattress” was a great success (I loved that Zeal was so enthralled), as was the Boys Trip to Kalamazoo Soccer Club game.  A trip with the Walker Fam to Boulder Ridge Zoo proved better than anticipated, and may be added to our list for another year (thanks to Amy DeBoer for her recommendation).  Kinda felt like Lynne Ott or Aunt Arlene when I gathered ceramic tiles for a craft project  (ha)–with much apprehension, knowing my skill set, we forged ahead…and it actually went well, even though we picked the wrong glue!!

As happens every year when the whole tribe descends—I enjoy so many great moments, but also learn so much about myself when the words “let it go” must ring continually in my head in order to keep my sanity and frustrations at bay.  My expectations crash right into my weaknesses…it isn’t always pretty to see that side of myself, but I’m learning to accept that tidiness and control are a part of who I am, and to give myself grace when I blow it!

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Thanks to my bookclub, I am definitely branching out in my reading genres!  Originally written in 1986, this book has become a Hulu movie and now has been re-published with a 2017 intro by the author--which does help in understanding some of the plot.

The main character is documenting her life somewhere in the future, after the United States has collapsed into a variety of geographical sections (similar to The Hunger Games).  Because of pollution and toxin issues, the population is having difficulty pro-creating.  Those who have moved into leadership have devised a plan to assign the residents to specific roles,  whereby "handmaids" (basicly mistresses) have the important task of having babies ---babies they will give up to the Commanders and their wives.

This is a chilling and dark futuristic tale.  It attempts to show how power and evil come together, using half-truths of Biblical ideas, to twist people's minds.  As always, there is an underground revolt which is fighting against this government.  I love that the author includes the Quakers, the peace lovers, as the quiet revolutionaries.

Offred writes with desperation, having been torn from her husband and child, and now in the clutches of the government leaders.  After following passively, she begins to quietly revolt (to either find herself again or to sub-consciously get caught), before being captured.  Again, an unsettling ending--to an unsettling story.

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

What a bizarre story!  The author presents some little known true facts about Abraham Lincoln's personal grief over his son's death, in the setting of a graveyard scene one dark night.  Using "ghosts" who inhabit the cemetery (while waiting to "pass-over") to tell the story was either brilliant or ridiculous, depending on your perspective.

Interestingly, the ghosts seem to be pretty much the same in ethics & actions, as they were while alive --yet, there are times of remorse that show up in the dialogue.  As usual, some of the more despicable, evil characters/language made me cringe & skim --but I am guessing the author's intent was to portray all types of humans and their thought patterns.

This is a very loose blend of Biblical thoughts and great license by Saunders in regards to the afterlife and how it will play out when one dies.  I did enjoy the historical data on Lincoln and the deep grief that was portrayed (and the effect on the ghosts); but overall would hesitate to recommend it. Looking forward to Book Club discussion!

Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver

Highly recommended by several in my Book Club, this again was a portrayal of the "hillbilly" mentality in small town Appalachia:  anger at the government, at the rich, at the educated, yet somehow still siding with the right politically--kind of an irony.

This was the journey of change in the main character:  re-claiming her dreams as she attempts to remember who she was before her life choices took her in a different direction.  Lots of Biblical truth is sprinkled throughout as the "Monarch Migration" story unfolds.  Lots of brokenness as Dellarobia and Hester face their hidden sins and differences.  What a truth--that we need much grace when we see ourselves as we really are.

I loved the face-off between Dellarobia and the tree hugger who was trying to help the town take steps towards conservation of energy....and all of his ideas had no correlation to the lower class (no dishwashers, no airfare costs, no eating out, no computers to buy off Craigslist, no stocks & investments to switch).  What an eye opener about the difference in social classes.

What I hated was the weird ending-- it left the whole ending up for grabs as to the outcome.

Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance

Truly enjoyed this memoir by J.D. Vance, a portrayal of his hillbilly upbringing in Appalachian Kentucky and in Middletown, OH, and how he climbed out of that cycle to land at Yale Law School after service in the Marines.  This book is a riveting read on the brokenness of the white working class, while also establishing the strengths of determination and desire to "break out".
J. D. was mostly raised by his grandma, who was pretty scary!  The dysfunction and character weaknesses in most of the adults in the author's life made me wonder out loud how this young man saw his way to reach for his dreams.  But, as he openly admits, those demons from his past still rear their ugly heads in his "new" upper class life.

Interesting pieces:  1...how Mamaw knew her Bible, but her actions and speech didn't reflect it (same issue most of us have in different ways); yet JD refers to her as his best example of Christianity, and love.  She fiercely loved her family, but could express great hate for others. 2..that kids in JD's type of situation have a better chance of getting into Ivy League schools than upper middle class, but just do not know how to tap into it, and take advantage of the financial aid opportunities.   3...how much the hillbillies hated Barak Obama, as they could not relate--he was a good father, they were not; he looked professional in his suits, they wore overalls; his wife decried bad nutrition- which was the staple of the hillbillies.  "Obama strikes at the heart of our deepest insecurities."  4...the final piece which made huge sense:  all of the people in JD's life that "made it out" of the mentality and abuse of this class were those who married OUT; his aunt, his sister and himself all found love and marriage with spouses who could assist with their fears and life cycles.  They knew how life could be different because they had lived it.

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton

I am a huge fan of this author.  She pointed me in the direction of some ancient spiritual disciplines with her previous book, "Invitation to Solitude and Silence", several years ago.  It gave me the desire to be more of a contemplative, than a "doer"; admitting that all of my "works" were nothing if I didn't have a listening, yearning heart.

Because of my position on the Navigation Team at church, I picked up this book to "re-boot" as a leader because I had been out of the mainstream of leadership since our departure from full-time ministry in 2013.  Ruth bases this book on Moses' life and leadership, which I love.  I have always been a fan of character studies, and she develops this fully.  Her basic premise is that we not simply give lip service to prayer, but we develop rhythms of solitude (as did Moses) and lead out of those sacred silences.  As we are transformed in the stillness, God gives great freedom to lead.  The chapter on "Finding God's Will Together" was particularly insightful as we head into such a season at our church; but the most compelling was the last chapter "Reenvisioning the Promised Land".  Speaking directly to my heart as I have been struggling with my "next" role; she brings us to Moses' last days, how he stands on the mountain and looks over the Promised Land, which he can't enter.  Am I at the place of utter contentment with where God has me?  Am I longing to be with Him?  Do I really need one more "hurrah"?  Can I simply live these remaining days in serving in simple ways, not being a mover & shaker?  Not called to an activism or "bigger" purpose (such as refugee care?).  Am I done with such things?  I don't know--but the author gives me the challenge to let some dreams go (as Moses let go of his desire to physically lead the people into the land), and lean into Him, resting in areas of service with calm and serenity, not striving or angst.  I Timothy 6:6: "But godliness with contentment is great gain".

Just a building?

Stately and solid on the main four corners of town it sits.  Renovated in 1953 after a fire demolished its upper floors,  it became Kalamazoo Savings and Loan, where my parents secured a $5500 loan to expand our small home in 1957, as more babies were anticipated.  Of course, at age 6, I wasn't necessarily interested in this bank...until a few years later when my mother insisted that each of us kids open an account so we could begin "saving".  It seemed like an austere and pristine place, with high ceilings--it evoked the need to be on your best behavior, and speak in whispers to the tellers as you stood on tippy toes to hand over the money and the "book".

Now as I relax in this same building, "Mezzo Coffee", drinking my tea infused pineapple coconut smoothie; I reminisce.  It was here that I deposited those checks and tips from my work at Judy's Restaurant.  It was here that I emptied my account each fall before heading back to college, tuition payment in hand.  It was here that I returned to apply for employment as a teller after getting married and needing some supplemental income.  It was here that my first pregnancy terminated, as I turned with stricken face to Manager Loretta Kling when my water broke at 13 weeks.

Today our town is mourning the loss of Kathy Misner, mover and shaker of Otsego.  When we returned almost 20 years ago, this building had become Decorator's Plus. It was here that I met Kathy for the first time.  It was here that I came for advice on our new home, insisting that we buy expensive Benjamin Moore paint, much to my husband's chagrin! It was here that I requested Kathy's help to visit my home and give me some new ideas, as she did for hundreds of people.
And now, it is here that I rest and remember.  Sue Cramer named this spot "Mezzo", referring to "middle".  Middle of town, middle of activity, middle of life.  She bought this building from Kathy to carry on the tradition of life in Otsego.  Life in a community of people.  A community that shares history, a community that remembers people, a community that comes together over coffee.
This building has fostered life and community and growth...it is not "just" a building.

The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman

I was excited to read this book, as my appetite had been whetted by advertisements for the movie. After reading the last two WWII novels, this was somewhat of a let down--not because of the great content and the very meticulous recording of details by the author--but because it read like a textbook, a bit devoid of the emotion and feelings of the characters.  It made me realize that I need the "storybook tale" not just the stark facts.
Antonina was a generous and gifted woman, truly humble and unassuming as she went about her very unusual life during WWII in Warsaw.  Her insights about animals and people, her sixth sense of danger, and her ability to courageously speak and act as if she were in a very normal setting--all worked together in her life to save over 300 Jewish "guests" at the Warsaw Zoo.  I particularly enjoyed the human element of the various characters and how they managed to escape the trains or the slaughters by the ruthless Germans.  Over and over, the resilient spirits that God gave to these people, in the face of brutality, oppression and fear; left me in amazement.

April Musings @ Nazareth

An intentional date with Jesus~ three hours of listening, singing, observing, smelling, hearing, touching;  it was walking slowly with a Friend, being in the moment, give and take.  As I headed to the prayer labyrinth on this cloudless perfect day, I came across a dead, brittle lifeless tree...and stopped.  Having just "sat" in John 15-17, my head was full of "the Spirit gives life...if there is no life, there is no Spirit".  What a clear picture of what happens to my soul when deadness creeps in--empty, stark, ready to fall or give up, form but no substance.
My senses were heightened as I continued on the prayer path--and next discovered a half-dead pine. One half seemed to be turned to the sun, with green growth while the other side held barren branches buried in another growing tree.  What are you saying to me, Lord?  Is this also me sometimes?  A kind of half hearted life, desiring the growth--but not always leaning into Jesus?  Sitting on the fence of my blessed life, but not always living the freedom or not straining hard to hear His words more clearly...perhaps leaning into someone else's growth, or into my past years of growth?
OK, Lord--you have my attention!  Anticipating, searching, sitting on the edge of my seat--and there it was:  a perfect tree, full of light green buds shooting out, stretching upward, excited to be fully in bloom soon...as April was turning into May.  Oh wow, can my life be like this?  Is it possible to be so alive to the Holy Spirit that my "blooming" is more visible than I ever realize?  My head so believes this-- that there is abundant & overflowing life, transformed by the Spirit; touch my heart, let me SEE your work, and feel your energy, your LIFE.  Grow me into that green tree.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

As I read books, I am always looking for the reference as to why/how the author titled the book; so assumed that it was named after Isabelle, who was code-named the Nightingale for her many nocturnal ambulatory flights over the mountains to aid British pilots downed in France during World War II.  But this reference was only one aspect of the title.

Sisters Vianne and Isabelle had a rocky relationship, mostly due to the death of their mother in their youth--Isabelle felt rejected by both her sister and father when she desperately needed their love and care.  Because she needed purpose and a "cause" she actively sought how to make a difference in this terrible war, knowing that this was in direct opposition to Vianne's need for security, sameness and protection for her daughter.

As the story plays out, from a flashback perspective of Vianne's memories, it turns out that the daughters and the father all became key players in their opposition efforts to the Nazis--they just were not aware of each others' activities.  Julius used his skills to create illegal papers and propaganda; Izzy choosing to assist hundreds across the border; and Vi, after much loss and hardship, began working with the Church to save Jewish children.

An outstanding read, realizing that "Nightingale" also signifies love and loss --so much loss in each character's life, but reconciliations made to one another before it was too late.   The theme of love recurring: love of family, love of France, love of the church, love of Truth.  Again, I am always wondering if I am strong enough to stand for Truth--would I risk my life or my family's lives to aid and assist, or to stand against our government if they chose against Biblical principles....or would I be blinded and hesitate as did Vianne?

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

This book came highly recommended -- the story of two separate characters during World War II whose lives intersect at the end, a brief interlude that gives great meaning to the guilt ridden Nazi boy-man and great gratitude to the blind French girl.  It's a story of the innocence of childhood, turning into the violence of war; of moral kindness turning into moral collapse; of childhood dreams turning into harsh reality; of the goodness of many who stand up against the evil that is taking over.

I came away with a great sadness for the people of Europe whose families and cities were ripped apart, and a great sadness that the people who could have said so much to one another to help them heal--could not even speak of their memories, as they themselves never healed....I so wanted the Nazi friend of Werner's to tell Jutta what her brother meant to him, and for Marie-Laure to explain to Jutta how Werner saved her life.  How amazing that would have been to Jutta to know Werner came through the war with some goodness still in his heart.  A good story about a terrible time.

The Silent Wife by Angela S. A. Harrison

This was our 3rd book for Book Club, a genre that I don't typically like, reminiscent of "Gone Girl".  It was a back and forth telling from husband and wife (common law marriage), of the slow disintegration of their union.  Even though they each agreed (incorrectly) that they were from normal backgrounds, it becomes clear that those family dynamics were integrally a part of who they became and how they related to one another, just as it happens in our lives.

Because I have an analytical streak, the psychological details were interesting- but the behaviors that came out were chilling.  Neither saw their actions as unusual or detrimental to their relationship; but it became clear early on that they would unravel if not thwarted.  I kept thinking about the verse, "but the Truth will set you free" as these two continued down their slippery slope of denial, secrets and revenge.

A quick, interesting read; but still not my favorite genre...I like happy endings, and this was unsettling.

I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai with Patricia McCormick

A simply written story with a powerful message.  A young Pakistani child of 11 who speaks openly about the need for educating girls in her town of Mingora, state of Swat.  A child born of parents who started a school and encouraged this daughter to learn and value education above all.  A courageous girl who continued to attend school and relayed information to the NY Times, even when the Taliban took over Mingora and ordered women and girls to stay in their homes.  A family displaced to Birmingham England when the unthinkable happens --rebel forces shoot Malala at point blank range, grazing her ear, eye and temple.

In this re-telling of her story, Malala makes it so clear that ALL Muslims are not radical, that the Taliban is hated by many groups of Muslims who do not condone their extreme behavior....and that other nations need to be involved in receiving refugees who are fleeing from violence, fear of death, and inhumane treatment of women.

Bahamas Breezes

March 4-11, 2017

A sumptuous dinner with the Mammina’s in their St. John, IN home started our getaway.  Smoked ribs by Ben, and asparagus & Caesar Salad sides by Rose.  Possibly one of the best dinners we will have!!

Saturday found us on a short flight from O’Hare to Nassau.  The cab driver was interesting, giving us some history and his testimony!  He mentioned that the Lord had blessed him, so we asked how he knew Jesus – love when we meet people of another culture who we will see in heaven!  We walked 2 miles to his recommended eating spot, the Fish Fry; which is an area with several restaurant choices on Junkanoo Beach—all authentic Bahamian.  We ordered boiled grouper—cooked in foil with carrots, potatoes, pepper, onions and a little spice.  Also came with mashed potatoes, rice & peas, and cabbage w/ carrots.  It was so delicious—and glad that we smartly ordered one to share!  A wonderful start to our trip.

Sunday: 

After staying in Towne Hotel for the night (needs some TLC, but very authentic!), we headed out exploring the city.  Straw Market reminded us of the Cancun vendors who are so quick to “suck you in”.  Each vendor has their own spot in this open-air building and one grabbed my arm to show me her “wares”—I was able to purchase a lovely Bahamas beach bag, originally at $25—sold for a hard, cold $10 bill – such a deal?  Yikes, I am so not good at turning down these very persuasive people!!   On to the historic Queens Stairs, in honor of Queen Victoria who freed the slaves here on the islands during her reign.  A fascinating history lesson from a local, provided us with yet another view of the way the church made some horrific choices in the past, in regards to choosing profit over caring for human lives.  A highlight was stepping into 2 very different Bahaman church services:  one Anglican with a beautiful singing of the Doxology; another, Zion Baptist where we thoroughly enjoyed the movement, passionate singing and being one of 6 whites in a group of 300 worshipers.  Again, a glimpse of heaven.  Hallelujah! We crossed the bridge to Paradise Island, checked into Harborside Resort and then checked out some eating spots which run anywhere from $ to $$$$$ -- we will be careful!  Split a burger at the American burger spot, a quick walk-through the aquarium, coffee at Starbucks and finished the day watching a free movie at the Atlantis Theatre, Hacksaw Ridge.  Very FULL day – clocked over 6 miles with 14K steps!

Monday: 

Awoke after a restful sleep to hit the fitness center for 25 minutes of biking; then fixed egg wraps in our kitchen.  Headed to our “speel” at the timeshare sales office, hoping to find out some details on our ownership; however there was not much help with that.  Dominique spent the first 40 minutes conversing with us about the islands, his Anglican background, finding Jesus, gratefulness, and the racial issues in America.  Enlightening and enjoyable!  We were able to resist the pressure to buy more vacation pleasures for our family –and walked away with a $100 voucher to enjoy an upscale dinner at one of the $$ restaurants!!  Later that day I read Ann Voscamp’s “Lent to Repent” – where her prayer for the day was for us to repent from “wanting more and keeping up with the Jones”.  So grateful that God has given us contentment, and re-affirmed the decision we made earlier.  It also challenged us to keep our hearts open to His nudges to make life better for some Bahamans by giving out of our abundance rather than hoarding it for ourselves.  Since it was another extremely windy day, we chose to do more walking; checking out the beach area, browsing in the library, finding the Lazy River, eating nachos at Anthony’s and landing in our room early to recuperate.

Tuesday: 

Headed out early to Viola’s, a little open air restaurant on the far side near Atlantis.  Western Omelets and great coffee!  

Back to our resort by 11:30 and spent the next several hours at our pool and hot tub.  Excellent salads at the poolside grill.  Great day of relaxing, a little too much sun for Bill who chose not to put on sunscreen….Enjoyed baked potatoes w/ broccoli and cheese in our room; then leisurely walked to the Marina Village for coffee and a wonderful pina colada cake dessert.  Bill has been off sugar for over 2 weeks and even refused a taste of this—I’m so proud of him.  We sat for an hour enjoying the free entertainment, a one man show with 3 drums, playing a mix of music with various folks stopping to dance.  A lovely, romantic evening!

Wednesday: 

Coffee & breakfast in while praying for Maynard’s three bypass surgery.  After hearing his good report, we headed to the AquaAdventure Park at the Atlantis Complex, where we jumped on the Lazy River, the Crazy River and a short water slide --where Bill jammed his knee/hip as he hit the waterpool at the end.  

Thankful he will see the orthopedic dr. on Monday, hoping for shots in both knees.  Split a reuben sandwich at Murray’s Deli, lounged by one of the 10 pools available to us, and caught the shuttle back.  Being the frugals that we are, we made a delicious pasta supper with leftover onions-feta-balsamic from a previous day’s lunch, adding chicken-mushrooms-bacon from a Quiznos sandwich along with the can of petite tomatoes.  Outstanding!!  Finished off the day watching a 9 pm Junkanoo Parade, festive island dress w/masks, cow bells, brass instruments; then to the Atlantis theatre for a 9:45 showing of The Accountant. 

Thursday:

Leisurely morning, breakfast on the deck.  On to the resort pool to read & people watch.  Tried a pina colada drink, which was as tasty as the Bahama Mama, except a little too much rum made me a bit woozy!!  I am definitely a light-weight.  Lunch at the poolside restaurant, The Point, looking out at the Marina—tried the conch fritters, delicious!  Dinner in, then wandered over near the Marina and found a “Margaritaville” for key lime pie.   A special fireworks exhibit from our deck was a surprise ending!

Friday:

An excellent ending to our sojourn in Paradise Island, a leisurely walk on Cove Beach.  We entered the beach unobtrusively since only Cove guests were allowed on this beach---but so glad we did!! The most beautiful beach we have ever enjoyed.  Not only the many hues of green-blue in the water, but the sandy shoreline was unlittered by seaweed/bark/dirt. Frolicking in the clear water, conversing with a Texan yoga learner, and watching the cruise ships enter the harbor all made for a terrific stroll.  

Re-entering the “legal” area to rest at a pool, we purchased carry out chicken tenders & headed home through the elaborate Marina maze---suddenly discovering that our ever-ready Bahama bag was missing!!!!  Yikes.  A quick race back to the Deli, sending up instant prayers all the way-- –the lonely bag still sitting in an outdoor chair where we had stopped to take a photo.  As the very kind security guard said—“it’s Paradise, mon”; nothing stolen, all credit cards and cash intact!!  I love the Bahamans!  Thank you, Lord.  While Bill napped (we did clock 15,000 steps & almost 7 miles!), I walked back to the Coral Towers to return library materials (a book which I finished and a Yahtze game which went untouched—HA); then we took time to get ready for “Date Night”.  The highly touted “Carmine’s” (of New York) was our destination, where they served family shared portions –way too much food for us—we needed our kids with us!  We behaved ourselves and did not order the pasta specialty, but loved the Caesar salad, the special breads and my third drink of the week, a peach schnaps Beach Cooler!  The shrimp scampi and broccoli were also very good.  A very expensive dinner, compliments of our Vistana voucher.  A delightful day with my special man, a wonderful ending to our romantic getaway in Paradise.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  Grateful for rest, refreshment, recreation.

The Mothers by Brit Bennett

Our third read for Otsego Library Book Club.  This first time novel was a peek into the life of an African American church, written from the perspective of the Church Mothers---those experienced women who watch and pray, not always perfect, but looking & responding to life from the vantage point of age.  The story centered around three young people, with mistakes made and hearts broken, and once again --- the very difficult consequences that follow them because of their choices.  This shows even more vividly than "Commonwealth" how sin ensnares, then drags others in, then destroys more people than could be imagined -- in this case, the destruction of a church.
Although I liked the story line, I never enjoy the crude language --my old age is showing!  Always feels like there could be other words to use that might be just as credible.  I did appreciate that the author portrayed the African American culture in some positive ways-- intelligent & goal oriented teens, kind-hearted church members, forgiveness expressed, a father-daughter relationship restored.

California Connection

California kiddos were calling so I flew from Knoxville to San Jose on 2/18!  Thankful that Ben & Jenny were able to head to the mountains for a 5 day getaway, to sleep, play games & relax.  GrammaLita moved into "Mommy mode", with no back-up from Boppa!!  (However, Mel stepped up to check on me daily, and organize some play days.)  Abbott, Evy and I planned something special each day to keep us busy:  Capitola Mall playground, local park, Library story hour, a walk to Jamba Juice for smoothies, ballet class for Ev, a fun sleepover with Maelie & Mel, Discover Museum with Walker.  Highlights were the "wee hours of the morning rocker dates" with Abbott, singing "Brown Bear" book to him, and the cuddling with Evy while book reading and movie clip watching!!  Fun to be a  part of their normal life and understand "mommyhood" fatigue!

 

 

Then it was on to the Hendren's for a few days-- Keith immediately rewarded me with a special concoction for making it through!!  Fun birthday dinner celebrations for Walker & Maelie, and a splashing spree in the hot-tub were great memories.  Enjoyed worship with Mel at Twin Lakes Church, then hooked up with all for a Monarch Butterfly Hunt and lunch.  Delightful Ending.

 

Time Out in Tennessee

February seems like a lifetime away! Bill & I headed there the 11th for a week of Grandkid memories.  So glad we could give support as Teg & Mik headed on a Family Life Cruise for their 15th anniversary.  Fun times around the table, at Jet's wrestling practice, family T-ball at the park, reading, chatting during our chaufferuing duties, watching "Zootopia", and ending with a scavenger hunt, executed by Boppa at the local PetSmart.

What I didn't expect, being "prayed up" and excited, was the reminders from long ago "Mommy" days --of not being as capable as I had imagined.  My gut honest feelings that I wrote down on my flight out of town:

TN 2/2017

"Humbling.  Being the Grammalita that I long to be is way more difficult than my expectations ever imagine.  I see myself thru rose colored lenses: kind, gentle, patient, creative, wise, even-tempered. Then I play mom/ teacher/ Gramma/ cook/ housekeeper/ game guru/ reader of books extraordinaire/ laundress/ chauffeur and I fall apart.  I only really yelled about 5 times in 7 days; however who am I trying to kid?  Even when I keep my voice low and even, those perceptive kids can tell a frustrated granny- and it translates to "mean".  It seems like when I should be prayed up and full of the Holy Spirit, Marlita shows up instead. How, how, how- does the transforming work of the spirit of God work?? What am I missing?"

Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

Commonwealth was our 2nd read for the Sizzler Book Club at Otsego Library.  The author did a good job delving into the characters' thoughts by switching the story line to each one at different points.  The story centered around one family's divorce and how it affected the six children, throughout their lives.  It particularly focused on the death of one boy, and the trickle effects of the "secret" surrounding that death.  Each character added little pieces of information to that day as the story progressed.  At first, when the character and the timeline switched, it took me a while to catch on, but in the end, I appreciated the author's approach.

My overall thought throughout was that our choices in life do not just affect us, there are ripple effects to our kids, to our friends, to our church families...sometimes our selfishness rears its ugly head, we succumb to the pull of that, and we are left with the fallout.

Strings Attached by Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky

My friend, Sheila, passed this book on to me.  It reminded me of the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus, starring Richard Dreyfuss....as well as of my own band experience with Mr. Richard Swinsick, a respected musician in the education field who touched hundreds of lives.

Mr. "K", as he was affectionately referred to, came to NJ with memories that he tried to bury of his violent background in war torn Ukraine.  Unbeknownst to his students, that baggage made him into the teacher they knew:  disciplined, demanding, hopeful, creative, sometimes angry, sometimes tender.  It was in the years that he was fleeing for his life, as a young teen --that he heard a violin being played from an open window (one of the only beautiful things he had ever experienced), which instilled in him the dream of being a musician.  That dream kept him going and expanded into teaching others to appreciate and "feel the music".

This book was co-written by 2 of his students, one a competent  violist and the other his daughter, who became a principal violinist in the Chicago Symphony.  Both write in the first person, concurrently weaving each story as the years go by; from their early beginnings at young ages and through to a final concert for Mr. K at his funeral.  This is the story of a life-giving man who changed the lives of his students, amidst personal obstacles.

Mr. Swinsick also brightened our lives, by expecting the best from us; by urging us to pick ourselves up when we "failed" at solo & ensembles; by building a team that depended on one another in marching and concert season; and by fully giving of himself.  Both of these men, as well as countless other music teachers, knew that music would change us and make us better....for all of our lives.

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

Very intense read because of the violence and evil treatment from slave masters and anti-abolitionists towards slaves and the harborers of runaways.  The interesting twist is the author's premise that the Underground Railroad was actually real--real rails deep underneath the ground that provided escape from southern plantations to places of freedom in the North.

There were many ideas introduced that made me unsure as to whether the author simply took liberties in his fictitious rendering, or if there were elements of truth.  For instance:  that SC actually initially accepted the runaways and provided jobs (after all, this state was in the deep South); that the runaway patrollers could go as far North as needed to capture slaves and return them (I thought that the runaways were given their freedom when they crossed the Mason Dixon line); that Freedom Farms such as the IN Valentine Farm actually were created and used for good; that there could possibly be those who were only interested in their own "gains" as they appeared to be working for the cause of the runaways (SC movers, grave diggers, masters who promised freedoms that were never given).

Overall, a story of the redemption of Cora, in all of the violence, turmoil, disappointments and victories that were hers.....with characters who joined in with her along the way.

Christmas Days 2016

Snowy, cold days with the Hendrens and the Tegelaars. It was the 12 days of Christmas!  After some horrific flight delays and waits, the Hendrens arrived at 3 am, with kiddos time zones slightly messed up!  Grama (GGma) arrived that Tuesday for a broccoli soup lunch with Donna and Alise to spend a little time with Maelie and Walker; but we all ended up working on a Charlie Brown 400 piece puzzle, and ....finished it that day!! Tegelaars set a record and came through the door at 4:30 on Wednesday, to join us for a chicken taco dinner...and we were off to a racing start.
Favorite Moments:
*Quiet First Morning w/ Maelie, snuggling by the Christmas Tree
*Smiles & laughter from Maelie & Walker, on their first trip down the snowy backyard hill
*Bill & Mar taking the Euchre win against Keith & Mel
*Ringing the Salvation Army bells at Walmart
*Watching Jet share his "ga-ga" with Walker (truck) & keeping him entertained
*Hearing Azi nailing Mikkel's bad habits (that mother-daughter thing)
*Seeing the very clear differences in temperament in the grands at Chucky-Cheese.  Some      immediately jumping into all the fun, others reviewing and determining the best places to use their  tickets, others realizing the importance of following Chuckie in order to get more tickets --just a  great Walker Family Fun Day!
*Sitting between Jet and Azi on Christmas Eve
*Reading Aladdin to Maelie and Walker points to the big blue genie and says "Gwama"!!
*Delighting in Zeal's generosity and joy on Christmas morning
*Playing Racko with Jet, one on one
*Costume participation from all on Christmas Day (Teg clearly the most creative...)
*Putting Trux to bed one night, enjoying his insights--reading One Fish Two Fish, trying to skip a page and he nailed me!!!
*"Almost Grown Up" chatter with Azi
*Bible story every night with all the kids gathered in the living room

Simply hanging out and living life with our kids, marveling at their adultness, special relationships with their spouses, and shared parenting.  So proud of them.

New Years Day Musings

God's sense of humor showed up again today! Love when that happens.  Out on my walk on a sunny 45 degree day, reviewing what Pastor Wes encouraged us to do during worship:  release.  "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a NEW creation - old things are passed away and the new has come." (II Corinthians 5:17).  So, what are the old things that need to go in my life?  The 2016 weights that are holding me?  I release my need for approval (again).  I release my worry over appearances.  I release my control over my carefully laid plans.  I release my control over Bill's life and all that I think he should be doing or not doing (please, Lord).  I release my mouth.  I release my judgmentalism.  I release my need to be right.  I release my anger.  It was quite a walk!

The funny part?  I noticed a hair on one of my gloves and attempted to shake it off.  When that didn't work, I carefully reached over with the other gloved hand to gently remove it and shake that hand.  No chance.  Determining to be rid of it, I took off a glove and used my freed hand to get the rascal and throw it off---then I laughed out loud!  How creative of God to give me the exact visual of my struggle to release the junk in my life!  I desperately want to release those "old things" but they sometimes stick and it takes several attempts to truly "let go".

Releasing, relinquishing, relieving, letting go--so that I can forge ahead with freedom into 2017!  It already feels great to know I'm taking baby steps into the new year.

The Power of a Whisper by Bill Hybels

Truly enjoy the writing of Bill Hybels; relatable, common sense and real.  He did not disappoint in this offering on listening for God's whispers.  This is the book I will take with me on my next prayer day, as a great review and preparation for quietly listening.  Probably the key point Hybels made was that God speaks His word back to us--if I have not been mulling on passages or committing Scripture to memory, those words do not come back to me when I am looking for answers, comfort or direction.

Mostly I loved the personal stories about how God met this man in his need; sometimes broken, sometimes defeated, sometimes fearful.  No matter what I think about huge churches, programs and hype--this is about the daily struggles of one who has loved and served God in both good and bad times.