Final Fall 2019 - CA Sidetrip: Part 2

After 12 exciting days with kids and grands, Bill and I took a short excursion to Napa Valley to give all of us a break!!  Heading to the cute little Christmassy town of Sonoma was a good intro to this special season.  We wandered the town square, stopping to ask questions about the authentic old Sonoma Hotel, purchased tickets for "Judy" shown at the historic Sabastiani Theatre, and caught up on some football in the HopMonk Tavern (delicious Pumpkin Soup!) just minutes up the street from our AirBnb.

The Black Bear Diner was a perfect breakfast spot before heading out for the day .




We stopped briefly at the Vallejo Home, Spanish founder of Sonoma, to catch up on some local history, then were off to Castello di Amorosa in Callistoga for a guided tour of an amazing Italian castle and winery.

 

 

It was a picture perfect day,
even this shot from the Ladies' Room open window!


We then proceeded on to Granite Bay, just east of Sacramento, for a few days of rest and conversation with Ken & Nancy Hendren. However we took a slight detour to tour the free Jelly Belly Factory...fun!  Keith's parents were such great hosts, anticipating our every need: hot tub soak, beautiful master suite retreat, wonderful food, mini-tour of the area and scenic walk around Fulsom Lake.  The only regret...we did not get a photo together.

A Glory Over Everything by Kathleen Grissom

A satisfying sequel to Grissom's "Kitchen House".  She continues the story describing how Jamie (son of plantation owner Marshall and house slave, Belle) gets his freedom after landing in Philadelphia from Tall Oaks Plantation in northern North Carolina.

Jamie is able to pass as a cultured young white boy, thanks to his grandmother's love and educational assistance on the plantation.  Only as he is departing that home does he discover that he carries Negro blood, which causes a deep seated fear and panic as he faces unsettling crisis points in his life as an adult.

The author does a great job in transmitting the many emotional issues surrounding the characters, at this very difficult time in our history.  It is horrifying to realize how humans were mis-treated and the arrogance of the upper echelon; but also very gratifying to know that many others withstood personal risk to assist runaways.  The title indicates how freed slaves felt when the burden of slavery was lifted and they saw....a glory over everything.

Final Fall 2019 (Winter?) Shenanigans in CA - Part 1

Excited to have wonderful daughter-in-law Jenny Walker pick us up at the San Jose Airport on November 19!  We arrived to sunshine & mild weather and a house full of love with the five CA Walkers.  Summary of our 10 days: Bill/project, project, time off at cabin, project, sick for a day, breakfast with Ben, project, trips to Home Depot.... Mar/ trying hard for a few days to figure out how to best help Jenny (my analytical side), cabin time with all 6 grands, date with Abbott, reading to kids, picking up toys, cleaning up dishes, muffins with Evy & Ben, cuddling sleeping Elliott, cuddling sleeping Abbott, cuddling sick Aubrey, then sick for 24 hours, reading to kids, playing Racko with Evy, playing Twister with all 3, a chilly family walk on the East side Santa Cruz beach & hot cocoa afterwards-just before the rain! A great couples' euchre game except the men won!!  Celebrating Thanksgiving together with great chatter around the very full table: 11 adults, 6 kids and a middle schooler! Lovely.

   



 

Maid by Stephanie Land

Our November book selection for Sizzlers and I am feeling unsettled as to my feelings about "Maid".  As with any non-fiction "biography", entering the lives of real people creates conflicts in my mind about the values I was raised with versus the values and choices made by the author.  Though this book was similar to Educated and Hillbilly Elegy, I resonated more with those because the tone did not seem so "whiny" and because each of those authors seem to have "dug out" of their difficult situations.  Of course, I really don't know that it truly happened and perhaps they are still walking through repercussions because of their former lives; but having checked into Land's current situation, I found that she had a second child out of wedlock, married and divorced another abusive man, then married again this year and moved from her "promised land" of Missoula to Asheville.  She mentioned several times throughout the book that she dreamed of an ideal home, but discarded it as she realized she and Mia together were "home".  Reading about more devastating choices somehow makes me think she never lost that illusion of the "perfect home".  It makes me wonder about the statistics of Americans who can end the cycle of poverty by making better decisions....then I wonder if I am totally lacking compassion.

So many of her details regarding jumping through hoops to get assistance were troubling, similar to Vets getting help, or immigrants trying to get citizenship.  The government does not make it easy so it must be so difficult to keep on going....I heard real truth in her words about that.

Land's actual organization of the book was also hard for me to follow.  It felt like she jumped from one period of time to another.  There would be some good thoughts on the clients she worked for as she compared their lives with hers (many in nice homes with troubling situations), but it seemed very scattered...I needed a clearer outline.  And finally, I wanted her to voice her gratefulness more about the people in her life who gave her breaks, who offered her grace, who stepped in to help just when she needed it....Pam, Lonnie,Wendy, the lady who stopped at the accident, her grandpa, Miss Judy, Henry, Kurt.  I wanted her to acknowledge that they also sacrificed for her....but to her, the sacrifices she made were always more sacrificial.

Fall Travels - the Middle

A whirlwind trip to Tennessee for 2 weeks! Lots of soccer games for all 4 of the grands, and also a pleasure to watch Mikkel coach- a skill which energizes her amidst the overwhelming life of a homeschooling mom.  Not only did we spend time in events and activities, but were also immersed in the life of a busy family...with a few projects for Bill and a few for me!  The life of grandparents living alongside their kids can be a balancing act of "being slow to speak, quick to listen"!!  I have to remind myself that the "way we did it" is not the only way, and that we can learn much from our kids.  I always enjoy Mikkel's take on social, health and education issues. I love how Teg paves the way with some of the bigger parenting discussions with Azi..and then how they work together to follow up and monitor.  We are finding that our biggest responsibility is to cheer them all on.....It takes a team! An answer to prayer--we found a lovely campground about 20 minutes from their home where we can stay in the spring!

Thoughts on Remembrance

My Saturn may be dead.  For two years I have repeatedly requested the mechanics to determine why it "lurches", "hesitates", and "misses".  They could find nothing. "Just wait until a service light goes on", was their counsel.  Of course, no service light flashed when Bill drove it to the gas station and could barely get it moving into the right gears.  He parked it in the garage to rest (our form of denial) until we get home from Tennessee.

My mental processes kicked into gear to try to come up with a plan for:  A) possible transmission, or B) different car, or C) utilizing only Bill's truck.  As usual, money is the driving force in these brain gymnastics.  To settle my mind, I turned to Psalm 66, my reading for the day.

     Shout with joy to God, all the earth!  Sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious!

What was God's command to the Israelites whenever they were up against an obstacle? REMEMBER
So I will do the same in regards to His provisions to us over the years.

REMEMBER when He supplied green beans, corn and grapes from the good people of Plainwell First Baptist, and also a canner.
REMEMBER the first, little house He provided for $13,000 on a FHA loan.
REMEMBER the black and blue baby who "looked like he had been in a fight" (said a nurse), delivered by forceps because of my tilted uterus and his wide shoulders...who was healthy & normal.
REMEMBER the provision of a loan to pay for Bill's seminary.
REMEMBER the perfect parsonage we were blessed to inhabit in Downers Grove, IL
REMEMBER the contractors who remodeled our home in Allentown...at no cost to us!
REMEMBER the very imperfect parsonage we were forced to inhabit in Valley View..but very perfect after Bill's transformations.
REMEMBER how I labored over college FAFSA forms, wondering how we could help pay for college educations, but somehow it happened.
REMEMBER vacations provided by family members that we could never have done without their generosity.
REMEMBER the healing of my daughter in her bulimia struggle.
REMEMBER the arms of Jesus holding me tightly when my sisters died, comforting me.
REMEMBER the amazing details of acquiring this home over 22 years ago, this home that I love.
REMEMBER the many other miracle vehicles over the years: a green mustang for seminary; a silver station wagon when the third child came; 3 custom vans during our PA years so we could travel back to MI at least twice a year; the big Ford Bronco that cost nothing except that Bill had to dig it out of a barn where it had lived - under hay and pigeon droppings! --a safe first car for Mikkel to drive; Grandpa DeBoer's chevy that provided a car for a college kid; Uncle Maynard's Toyota provided for another kid in college; our recent mini RV for retirement enjoyment; and the list goes on!!

So, can I not believe that this small problem with my Saturn will be resolved in some way by the graciousness of a Father who gives and gives and gives?  I will resolve to REMEMBER and be grateful.

My Dear Hamilton by Stephanie Dray and Laura Kamoie

".... there is not a breath in any American's life that is not shaped in some way by Alexander Hamilton.  My husband. My hero. My betrayer."

Because of Lin Manuel Miranda's astonishing Broadway phenom, Hamilton, most of America has become mesmerized by the story of this statesman.  However, when the story is depicted by his wife, Eliza, as in this book, there is a vast broadening of understanding and perception.

 
This 700 page epic is a brilliant example of why I love historical novels!  As I became enthralled in the story line, my "need to know" mind kept sending me to Wikipedia to check for the real facts....how little I actually know about the story behind our founding fathers!  In some ways I questioned whether that early government could be equally as divided as our nation today, and could the authors have put a "present day spin" on those matters of long ago?  But as I reviewed my previous thoughts about well-mannered gentlemen sitting around a table politely discussing the birth of a new nation, I realistically was able to put aside that vision and understand that "birthing" is messy, hard, and painful. 

Many of our first presidents were ardent believers in freedom...but how to manage the nitty gritty of that?  "Black and white" thinkers were on both sides of the fence, Hamilton stridently supporting a strong federal government, and Jefferson just as adamant on states' rights.....and so it has continued for over 200 years.  I was appalled when Eliza eloquently voiced that the Jacobins actually wanted the "commoners" to have just as equal a say in government matters as the educated and wealthy; while she and Alexander stood firmly against that position, believing that the "rabble" of commoners did not understand the intricacies of government.  It sounded so elite and uppity but caused me to wonder if our political parties actually feel the same today.  I also thought it interesting that Eliza could mentally feel this way but also have compassionate feelings against slavery...did she want them free but not fully as free as the wealthy?  And ironically, Alexander was not born into class so wasn't he considered a commoner?!  I recently read this from an opinion piece: "Our equation of spending with speech has led to a political arena in which a rich person's or corporations's "speech" is necessarily valued more highly than an average or poor person's speech."  Democracy has been fighting the same issues since its inception!

 The authors bring this well documented period in history alive with all of the drama, intrigue and disappointments that happened to the Hamilton family.  Eliza Hamilton was a strong and passionate woman who endured humiliation from the community, but persevered to not only bring Alexander's  detailed writings to the public for posterity; but to establish homes for orphans.  She was no "shrinking violet", even when her heart wanted to quit from all of the sufferings of her life.  I appreciated the sensitivity of the authors in acknowledging her strong faith, that brought her through the hardness of her life.

Kudos to the Dray and Kamoie for telling Eliza's story, the story of a true Influencer.  I am ready to read more from these two.

Fall Travels --the Beginning

Early September found us in Orlando with the Hendren crew for a DisneyWorld week.  The two weeks preceding were a bit unsettling as we tried to wait out Hurricane Dorian...who was moving at a snail's pace towards Florida.  However, we persevered and were able to keep our original flights--and it may have helped weed out the crowds!  I so anticipated watching the kids' faces when they saw the Princesses and other characters, as well as the afternoon parade and evening fireworks; but there were so many other "make you smile" moments!  Catching Keith throwing kids across the pool; Boppa entertaining Aubrey with sounds and faces; rocking & singing Aubrey back to sleep  one night; taking Maelie to see Cinderella and Elena on our own; Walker volunteering to be the horse in the Enchanted Tales with Belle event; experiencing Mel completely at ease as we played in the pool; the Safari ride at our first time ever in Animal Kingdom;  and the "laugh out loud" Kali River ride --all of us getting wet in the 95 degree heat.  Magical Moments, indeed!

So very grateful for the gift of our timeshare, which we have managed to keep for over 20 years.  Delighted we could gift each of our kids a honeymoon with it- -and now trips to DisneyWorld for each of the families... at least Bill and I get to join in on these trips !!  HA!
Two down, one more to go!!






  

  

Glittering Images by Susan Howatch

Published in 1987, this is the first book in a series on the history of the Church of England, and the fictional diocese of Starbridge.  It was a compelling read as I enjoy unraveling a character's behaviors, even more than a more fast paced plot. 

In my longing for a better understanding of spiritual disciplines and direction, I have been listening to podcasts by Ruth Haley Barton (founder of the Transforming Center) and this was a recommended read (with some cautions for explicit content) because it deals with the breakdown of Reverend Charles Ashworth and how he walks through his mental and spiritual breakdown with his spiritual director.

The title is a phrase used repeatedly to describe the "false self" that each of us likes to portray to the outside world--successful, beautiful, put together, spiritual, smart; but we do so at the risk of losing our "true self"---the broken, weak, honest, loved and worthwhile child of God.   I found the discussions between Dr. Ashworth and Father Darrow fascinating and insightful, and it made me appreciate the spiritual gifts of discernment and wisdom that are manifested in so many of our Christian therapists today.  I'm so grateful that God gifts each of us with the appropriate tools for being fully the person He has created us to be. 

 I think that this read will stay with me as I ask God to make me more aware of how I revert to my "glittering image" in my daily journey. 

I'm Still Here by Austin Channing Brown; Insider Outsider by Bryan Loritts

This book was hard for me.  Channing-Brown is a black woman, raised in a mostly white educational system with work experience in mostly white Christian non-profits and churches.  It was an eye-opener from an honest perspective.  Still, I was a bit hurt and frustrated by some of her anger.  One chapter talks about how, in the course of one day, she faces forms of racism, unknowingly committed by well-intentioned white co-workers.  Things like her ideas not being heard in a meeting until a white person "re-phrases"them; or someone touching her hair without permission; or repeated suggestions that she extend more grace to others who mistreat her in racist ways. I am trying to learn, but some of her thoughts do not resonate well.  I know that I have touched African American hair...but I have also repeatedly touched white people's hair, without permission.  I have never felt it reflected racism but just open interest in beautiful styles.  I also was puzzled by her dismay at having to continually "teach" whites about the Black culture and other questions they have... but if we are interested in improving our understanding--these questions need to be asked and explanations need to be given.  As our Evangelical church begins to focus on being a Church for All Nations, it makes me wonder if it is even possible.  Channing-Brown loves the security and traditions in her Black Church.  She attends because of the shared cultural values and the need NOT to explain those various faith traditions with the white community.  It's a place where African Americans come together because they "get" one another.  So where does this leave us?  I want to grow in my thinking, I want to discard some of my baggage and fears.  I want to recognize "white privilege"and not expect my black brothers and sisters to think like us or be like us.  We both need to reach across the aisle to appreciate and value the cultures and distinctions from which we come. The 2 following pages helped me understand a bit more about our history of "whiteness" from the Black community's perspective.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  Compared to the Channing Brown book above, Loritts speaks eloquently and logically about the problems in how the evangelical church has unwisely  handled (or not handled) race issues.  The theme is the same, but this author resonated much more effectively with me; because he didn't use his emotions to convey the glaring issues.  I know he has been hurt, rejected, ignored and frustrated about his experiences--just as Channing Brown, however his voice is quieter and more compelling to me.  I am reading on racism in this season for 2 reasons:  1) in order to understand what my multi ethnic grandsons will face in the upcoming years and 2) in order to understand what it will entail for our 80% white congregation to embrace diversity more fully and become a "House of Prayer for all Nations".
Bill and I fully support his basic premise:  in order to be a truly multi-ethnic church, we need multi-ethnic staff members who get equal "power" on the boards and in staff settings.  It appears that some churches engage other-ethnicity staff, but fail to hear and act upon their ideas.  Our biggest problem is that we want them to join us and "become like us" rather than us realizing the input and impact they can make by bringing differences to the table. Highly recommend.

A Few Final Summer Shindigs!

Most of July was filled up with preparing, then enjoying the Tegelaars!  It was definitely a fun week with Zeal, age 9; and Trux, age 7!  Dad and Mom headed to their CRU conference in Colorado along with Azi and Jet, who had many activities planned just for them.  As soon as the parents were out the door on Friday, we headed to Saugatuck Dune Rides!!  Magic Fun at the library on Saturday, and church & Chucky Cheese on Sunday! We packed up the van & headed to Van Buren State Park on Monday for 3 days of bike riding, beach, and camp food.  Lita enjoyed sharing the queen bed with the two littles, while Boppa fixed up a new spot in the front as he figured out how to use both of the van's captains chairs.  It worked pretty great for us! Thursday was veg day with the kiddos playing Barbies for 4 hours!!  😂  It was such a delightful week for Boppa & Lita! We ended it with a Crazy Bunco Party for the family..and we were happy to hear that Azi & Jet especially loved hanging out with the DeBoer cousins as they only have "littles" to play with in our tribe of the Knight fam!